Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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(661): View more from California

Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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(770): View more from Georgia

he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players

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(703): View more from Virginia

keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

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(315): View more from New York

some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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(360): View more from Washington

Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night

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