I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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