OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
