My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
