In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
