my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
