he thought i was a dude.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
