When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize