Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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