it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
