Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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