Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
