You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
