idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
