After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
