Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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