i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
