I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
