Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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