If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
