exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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