would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
