Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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