absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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