I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
