Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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