only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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