I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
