he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize