He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
