if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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