What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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