It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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