Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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