I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
