Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
