for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
