I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
