If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
