ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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