Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
