You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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