she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
