Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
porn star boner night. come get it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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