this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She told me I should be a condom model.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
