You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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