idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
