Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize