The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
