going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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