No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
