how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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