Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
