I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
