dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
