she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this just has baby written all over it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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