You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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