Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
