i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
