I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize