Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
