No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
