Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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