Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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