Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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