it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
