why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
