ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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